It seems that when Port Authority was last overhauled, the architects had a grand unified theory of signage: signs were to be integrated into the ceiling structure; they were to be placed to maximize traffic flow; they were to be lettered in a genteel font, and organized according to a rainbow code in which each wing of the terminal received its own color. Clever! But this grand unified theory has since been lost.
New signs have been hung, interfering with the old. The new signs include electronic billboards, which would seem to provide the Port Authority with the ability to display up-to-the-minute information about bus arrivals and bus departures—indeed these electronic billboards would seem to permit the Port Authority to send out bus tweets!—but instead these billboards are frozen displaying only one, decades-old message:
State Law Prohibits Smoking
In All Areas Of The Terminal
Thank You For Your Cooperation
And, as it happens, directly in front of the old, genteel sign instructing you where to buy tickets is a new, electronic sign instructing you not to smoke. You try to dodge your way through foot traffic, to get a better view of the old sign, but it is too late. A police officer lays his hand on your shoulder and places you under arrest.
THE END.